Fundamental Strategies On How To Improve Self Esteem

By Joshua B. White


Not many people are aware of how much impact low self esteem can have on a person's life. Having low self worth can greatly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can stop you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental illnesses. I personally have experienced some of these consequences; in fact, they were what made me decide to look for a way to improve my self esteem.

Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice...Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don't seem to connect.The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Be with the right people. I have learned many lessons over my years of struggle to end low self esteem; but one of the most important realizations that I made was that the people I surround myself with have a huge bearing on how I feel about myself. With this realization, I had to wisely prune relationships--distance myself from some people and strengthen ties with others. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, see to it that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. Stay away as much as you can from people who belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Belong to a crowd that appreciates your positive traits and helps you come to terms with your imperfections.

Keep learning new skills.Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer's), be a life-long learner. I'm not necessarily talking about formal education.What's stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc. Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc.If ever you feel down, there's no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children's orphanage or an old aged home.My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.Learn to stand up for yourself.Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.If haven't had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service. And only when you're feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.

As a personal development coach, I have worked with many individuals to increase self-esteem and self-acceptance. The following 10 tips have proven time and again to improve self-confidence for a wide variety of people.Clothes Make the Man and Woman. Yes, it's an old cliche', but that doesn't make it any less true. When we dress confidently, we feel confident.This one is simple change can dramatically improve self-confidence.

Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.

If you see negative TV or read a newspapers about murder events and the ugly things of everyday life then you will be cynical and pessimistic. If you read books and listen to positive programs you will absorb and enjoy better vibes every day.Associate yourself with good and positive people. Your self-esteem suffers when you surround yourself with negative people who criticize you or make you feel bad. On the other hand, when you feel accepted and motivated then you feel much better about yourself and your self-esteem grows in a positive environment that makes you feel at ease.Make a list of your personal success. Write down everything you've done that make you feel proud of yourself, this can range from having learned to skate, to graduation from college, having received an award or a promotion at work, successes, reaching a business goal, etc..Read this list often and when you read close your eyes and recreate those feelings of satisfaction and pride you felt when you achieved such success.

Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.

Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.




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