Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.
So, let's look at these habits in more detail:Keep Your Word - To Yourself And Others.This sounds very simple - but often it isn't.For example, how often do you tell yourself you're going to do something and then you don't, like exercise perhaps? How often do you NOT keep your promise to others? Whenever this happens, not only is there an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction within yourself but also you are providing your subconscious mind with evidence that you don't do what you say you will... that you are someone whom can not be trusted.
This is incredibly destructive to your self-confidence, because you don't get to trust and know who you say you are and do. You say one thing, but don't deliver, and this costs you your trust in yourself and your self-confidence.High self-confident people understand the importance of keeping their word. They understand that coming from this space of integrity, where their word is law, IS the key to accessing their own power and self-confidence, and in my opinion, is also the most important habit that leads to success in life.The trick is to start making smaller promises that you know you won't let yourself or others down. Be honest with yourself. Don't say yes to something when you know you can't fit it in.
As you get ready to go to sleep spend a minute revisiting each of these experiences and accomplishments. When you are done, just let yourself relax, have a good night of sleep and maybe dream about some of your goals your positive accomplishments.Do this for three weeks. Stacking your positive memories like this on a daily basis can help you to build your confidence.
And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you've overcome half the battle.Act and Feel Important.High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.
Here are some basic things you can do at the physical level to improve self-confidence... by modeling the image that highly self-confident people portray:Good posture - walk confidently, stand up straight and tall with shoulders back and head up, and make eye contact.Dress sharp - look presentable and smart. When you are dressed well, doesn't that instantly make you feel great and important? Get your energy up - listen to upbeat music to instantly get energy up, and exercise regularly. Not only will exercise give you energy, but also the side effect is... great physical appearance... which will also help to improve self-confidence.Be Grateful.There is no doubt that High Self-Confident people have an attitude of gratitude. I'm talking about heartfelt gratitude and not so much about forced gratitude, because... there is a difference.How do you recognize the difference between forced gratitude and heartfelt gratitude? If you've ever expressed gratitude by starting a sentence with, "At least... " you understand the meaning of forced gratitude. For example... at least I have food on the table, or... at least I have a good job, etc. We force ourselves to feel grateful, but this is coming from emptiness and it isn't a long-lasting habit, because as soon as our circumstances change, we may not feel the same.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they'll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I've had, and I've been rejected a LOT.Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.
So, let's look at these habits in more detail:Keep Your Word - To Yourself And Others.This sounds very simple - but often it isn't.For example, how often do you tell yourself you're going to do something and then you don't, like exercise perhaps? How often do you NOT keep your promise to others? Whenever this happens, not only is there an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction within yourself but also you are providing your subconscious mind with evidence that you don't do what you say you will... that you are someone whom can not be trusted.
This is incredibly destructive to your self-confidence, because you don't get to trust and know who you say you are and do. You say one thing, but don't deliver, and this costs you your trust in yourself and your self-confidence.High self-confident people understand the importance of keeping their word. They understand that coming from this space of integrity, where their word is law, IS the key to accessing their own power and self-confidence, and in my opinion, is also the most important habit that leads to success in life.The trick is to start making smaller promises that you know you won't let yourself or others down. Be honest with yourself. Don't say yes to something when you know you can't fit it in.
As you get ready to go to sleep spend a minute revisiting each of these experiences and accomplishments. When you are done, just let yourself relax, have a good night of sleep and maybe dream about some of your goals your positive accomplishments.Do this for three weeks. Stacking your positive memories like this on a daily basis can help you to build your confidence.
And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.
You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you've overcome half the battle.Act and Feel Important.High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.
Here are some basic things you can do at the physical level to improve self-confidence... by modeling the image that highly self-confident people portray:Good posture - walk confidently, stand up straight and tall with shoulders back and head up, and make eye contact.Dress sharp - look presentable and smart. When you are dressed well, doesn't that instantly make you feel great and important? Get your energy up - listen to upbeat music to instantly get energy up, and exercise regularly. Not only will exercise give you energy, but also the side effect is... great physical appearance... which will also help to improve self-confidence.Be Grateful.There is no doubt that High Self-Confident people have an attitude of gratitude. I'm talking about heartfelt gratitude and not so much about forced gratitude, because... there is a difference.How do you recognize the difference between forced gratitude and heartfelt gratitude? If you've ever expressed gratitude by starting a sentence with, "At least... " you understand the meaning of forced gratitude. For example... at least I have food on the table, or... at least I have a good job, etc. We force ourselves to feel grateful, but this is coming from emptiness and it isn't a long-lasting habit, because as soon as our circumstances change, we may not feel the same.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they'll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I've had, and I've been rejected a LOT.Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.
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