Have you heard about the "look up and around" technique? Well, this approach has helped quite a lot of my patients with social anxiety or agoraphobia break free.
If you are troubled by social phobia or agoraphobia, then the following characteristics will be well known to you.
A perception of Intense self-focus
Regularly feeling that many people are looking at you almost like you are the center of attention.
Increased sense of worry.
Fear that people may take advantage of you or abuse you because they can see a clear weakness in you.
A feeling of humiliation that leads you to look away or look down regularly.
If you feel any of the above is recognizable to you, then you will benefit from using this technique.
So what's the technique?
This is it: Look up and look around any time you are in the general public. Get an idea of what people are really doing.
Now before you decide to quit on me and think this Idea is ineffective to you, permit me to encourage you to give the strategy a try out for at least 7 days.
Please don't make the mistake of assuming that the simplicity of this exercise means that it won't be of any use.
What is a reason why you think people pick up this tendency to look down or away in these situations?
Quite often, it may be because somehow, they think that there's a legitimate reason to feel embarrassed about. It's possibly because they feel ugly, fat, peculiar or too tall. Because of this, they tend to assume that the only reason people will look at them is really because people assume that they are peculiarly awful or that folks may make fun of them and probably point fingers.
Looking around and viewing exactly what is really transpiring around us regularly will assist us to challenge this belief in several ways.
Firstly, Looking up and around aids us to discover that almost ninety nine percent of people do not even take notice of us at all because they are absorbed by their own problems and undertakings. Failing to look up and about frequently makes us conclude that the 1% is equal to 100% of the people we meet.
Secondly, the same act of looking away happens to make anxieties worse. Try this out:
Ask someone else to assist you out with this (It works better if the colleague is someone you are not too close to)
Compile a collection of expressions, which include the things you believe people criticize you negatively on, afterwards get your supporter to pretend and read the sentences in a disdainful fashion twice (e.g. What an hideous looking girl). At the first read look away with your back facing your friend, whilst he/ she reads then at the next read turn back and face the friend.
You will notice that whilst your mate reads your list at you, looking away made you feel so much worse even if ever so slightly. This is so although you gave the colleague the sentence to read back to you. (I usually find that the effect of this experiment is clearer the higher the sense of shame is).
So just how can you utilize the ideas offered in this article?
This technique will work better for you if you can get a different person to work with you. It is very important that the person you opt for is objective so if you can, don't choose family. In addition, a pair of sun shades can help you feel more confident about looking around.
You'll be needing some paper and pen, which will help you take an objective account. Now, make a prediction. How many people do you think will look at you? It is good to differentiate between an innocent glance and an obvious 10-second glare. Okay, once you have completed this, go for a walk. Maybe to town or to the shopping complex. It does not matter as long as you find sufficient people around.
Now, mark a tick for people you see staring rudely at you and a cross for people who do not look at you.
Your findings will more than likely surprise you.
If you are troubled by social phobia or agoraphobia, then the following characteristics will be well known to you.
A perception of Intense self-focus
Regularly feeling that many people are looking at you almost like you are the center of attention.
Increased sense of worry.
Fear that people may take advantage of you or abuse you because they can see a clear weakness in you.
A feeling of humiliation that leads you to look away or look down regularly.
If you feel any of the above is recognizable to you, then you will benefit from using this technique.
So what's the technique?
This is it: Look up and look around any time you are in the general public. Get an idea of what people are really doing.
Now before you decide to quit on me and think this Idea is ineffective to you, permit me to encourage you to give the strategy a try out for at least 7 days.
Please don't make the mistake of assuming that the simplicity of this exercise means that it won't be of any use.
What is a reason why you think people pick up this tendency to look down or away in these situations?
Quite often, it may be because somehow, they think that there's a legitimate reason to feel embarrassed about. It's possibly because they feel ugly, fat, peculiar or too tall. Because of this, they tend to assume that the only reason people will look at them is really because people assume that they are peculiarly awful or that folks may make fun of them and probably point fingers.
Looking around and viewing exactly what is really transpiring around us regularly will assist us to challenge this belief in several ways.
Firstly, Looking up and around aids us to discover that almost ninety nine percent of people do not even take notice of us at all because they are absorbed by their own problems and undertakings. Failing to look up and about frequently makes us conclude that the 1% is equal to 100% of the people we meet.
Secondly, the same act of looking away happens to make anxieties worse. Try this out:
Ask someone else to assist you out with this (It works better if the colleague is someone you are not too close to)
Compile a collection of expressions, which include the things you believe people criticize you negatively on, afterwards get your supporter to pretend and read the sentences in a disdainful fashion twice (e.g. What an hideous looking girl). At the first read look away with your back facing your friend, whilst he/ she reads then at the next read turn back and face the friend.
You will notice that whilst your mate reads your list at you, looking away made you feel so much worse even if ever so slightly. This is so although you gave the colleague the sentence to read back to you. (I usually find that the effect of this experiment is clearer the higher the sense of shame is).
So just how can you utilize the ideas offered in this article?
This technique will work better for you if you can get a different person to work with you. It is very important that the person you opt for is objective so if you can, don't choose family. In addition, a pair of sun shades can help you feel more confident about looking around.
You'll be needing some paper and pen, which will help you take an objective account. Now, make a prediction. How many people do you think will look at you? It is good to differentiate between an innocent glance and an obvious 10-second glare. Okay, once you have completed this, go for a walk. Maybe to town or to the shopping complex. It does not matter as long as you find sufficient people around.
Now, mark a tick for people you see staring rudely at you and a cross for people who do not look at you.
Your findings will more than likely surprise you.
About the Author:
Looking for more ways to deal with stress and anxiety? Then see this comprehensive self help guide on anxiety.
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